OCD Corporation came out with their new line of computers called Analyticus 2K7 and it seems to be the most wanted tech toy in the market.
Our friend Paul, got one for his birthday from his pretty wife Marsha.
Analyticus 2K7 processes most requests that includes home budget calculation, Reminder System, Lawn watering, Kids’ routines, Pet care, Maintenance and Cleaning, Regional News and a plethora of other activities that you want your wife to take care and she doesn’t.
Analyticus 2K7 prints out a daily status report first thing every morning of the things to be done that day. It is supposed to print “Things” in a column and the “To Dos” in adjacent column. However, because of a bug created by the software development team that attempted to work on Fridays, the printing shifted the “to do” part by one row.
| Things | To do |
| Put Flowers | ………………………………………. |
| Your Neighbor | In your daughter’s bedroom |
| Your Credit Card | Bought someone a diamond ring |
| Your Daughter | Charges $37 a day…that is $1.54 an hour |
| Your Lawn | Is going to be pink on top or may have corn rows |
| Your Wife | Needs to be mowed twice a week (Watch the stripes) |
| Your Comb | Needs to visit a dentist to clean teeth |
| Your Maid | Needs to be replaced…getting old, buy a new one |
| Your Appetite | Needs a hike |
| Your Cat | Needs to be cut short |
| Your Son | Needs to be neutered |
| Your Car | Wants to take a crash course |
| Your Dad | Needs the bearings changed. They are old |
| Your Fish Tank | Needs a pint of Scotch |
| Your Family Jewel | Needs to be scrubbed |
| Your Bald Head | Needs to be polished |
| Your Beer Mug | Needs a Cap |
| Your Mother-in-law | Needs to be engraved |
| Your Soccer Teammate | Needs to be given a card |
| Your Ring Finger | Needs your old Armband |
| Holy Cross Church | Needs the Nail pulled |
| The Local Proctologist | Needs your Service |
| Your Dog | Is running for Governor |
| Your pregnant Secretary | Needs to be unleashed |
| Your mail | Will deliver in 7 months |
| Your Computer | Needs to be trashed |
| ……………………….. | Knows what is right |
“Your Dog is running for Governor.”
I’d vote for him.
🙂
I couldn’t afford the paper and ink for my daily “To Do List” report!